Tuesday, July 06, 2004
-=wHy....??? tell me why...??=-
i alwayz thought that i can commit.. hey.. wat the hell is cupid angel doing to me...?? wat are you trying to do in my life..? u gave us the fate... n gave us the destiny.. but it's a dread... y muz he be such a liar..? y muz he not be a gd person tt i can rely n hang on to...? if i break with him.. i'm the biggest flirt ever on earth/// if i dun wanna be with him anymore.. i'm the worst girl in the entire world...~!!! i dunno wat i should do.. y muz he lie to me..? y muz he be sooooOO ideal.. yet... be a liar to destroy n spoil every wonderful things...? i really dun understand y man can be sooooOoo great in cheating gals's feelings.. to tnk tt i believe verything he said initially.. i felt sooo dumb... i felt like i was soooOooo stupid ti tnk that he's a nice guy that i can love.. n be loved by... but i tnk i was totally wrong.. he coulsd actually do sooo much not nice things to HER.. y not to me in the future...? i'm scared lohz.. i'm seriously scared... tt one day.. when i'm already totally into him.. he'll dump me.. n throw me around like nobody;s business... i did love andrew alot alot... i love him, i are for him.. n so...? wat happened in the end..? he cheated on me... again n again.. i forgive n forgive.. n sooo..? wat happened in the very very end..? he dumped me.. i plead him.. wat did he say..? he loves her more.. n he left...~! alrite.. mayb i should not live in the past.. but then.. hey.. who will not tnk of the past...? n oso.. i seriously seriously tnk tt guys do get bored with a gal for long... i've seen many many many cases when the gal sooo committed n into the relationship, the guy would dump her.. i dun wanna face this type of hurt.. i juz can;t make my self love one person whole heartedly.. i did it once.. n i realised i failed..~ to keep the person by me... so wat if u wanna love him truly... will he appreciate..? yunxian love him so much, did everything she could for him.. in the end..? heleft her.. for someone he knew in the freshman orientation camp..~! he can smile to me n know me n stead with me... why not to other thousands of other gals who walk pass him everyday..?i dunno lahz.. n oso.. watever his ex said, made me doubt him even more... haiz.. i dunno how to continue le.. i wanna break.. but i do like him.. isn;t he supposed to be the ideal person in my life...? wat happened...? y muz it turn out lidat...? 'gan qing de fu chu bu shio zhen xin jiu hui you jie guo...~' perhaps this is right...~ okie.. like i've said.. if i can't work out with him, where elese can i find one..? erm.. okie.... i dun find one.. i wait for the one to look for me.. i'm tired of searching.. it's time for a 'HIM' to search for me..~ haiz...
i wanna go on diet... i really wanna go on diet... i wanna succeed... i wanna make it.. yupz.. it's for the benefit of myself.. hahaha...
darlings.. thank you for standing y me for these days... it;s been hard.. for all the decision making n stuffs lidat.. but all of you were there for me no matter wat... thankz for everything... muackz... muackz... muackz...~!!!! ("v")jIngtiNg("v")
9:58 AM
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
-=u r the one=-
i realised u r really really the one.. i dunno if everything would be perfect.. n would it ever last long.. but i hope to treasure you.. i've never ever met someone.. tt i tot would only come in my dreams... u appeared.. everything juz seems soooOoo perfect.. tt i'm afraid.. it's juz a dream... when i wake up frm this dream, will i still see you..? i really hope it's all reality... i alwayz wanted to find someone who will ride me on a motorbike.. someone who commit into love but not think of marriage too early.. someone who will love all animals juz like i do... someone who would bother to surf the net juz to see the different breeds of dogs... someone who would encourage me n gimme full support for my navy career... someone.. who gifs me all freedom.. n let me be who i want to be.. someone... who will be there when i need.. but would not force me to meet when i dun wan to.. someone who.. most importantly...~ would accompany me go on an adventurous tour.. around the world.. my dream.. is to go around the world within 10 yrs.. with a haversack.. my dream is to be able to sail... i found this SOMEONE.. who has exactly the same thinkng... n same feelings.. same philosophy.... same dreamz...~! i'm not joking.. i didn't forced him to say all these i've heard... he said it.. i heard it.. n i know.. deep down in my heart that... we are feeling the same.. thinking the same...~!!!! i really love this wonderful feeling... i really really love him alot.. never had i feel this special feeling after i broke up with andrew for soooOOOooo long... i dunno if he's the one for me.. but i swore to ezah darling today... that if ever.. *touch wood* i dun work out well with him... i'd never go find another one... i feel that.. if the one that i've alwayz been dreaming for, hoping for.. already appeared.. n if we still cannot work out.. then ifeel that no one can ever work out well with me anymore.. hahahaha....~~
he's away to malaysia.. dunno when he's gonna come back... but i'll miss him...~ n i hope nothing happens to him.. when he said something this afternoon, my heart wrenched... he said: if anything were to happen to me n i dun come back.. find someone better for urself... oh my goodness.. wat a thing to say.. i know u will come back.. =P
qiuyan...~! u know hor.. i still waiting to watch spiderman with ya...~ heehee... xian oso..~~ alrite.. tt's all for today.. nitez..~ hahaha... ("v")
10:39 AM
Monday, June 28, 2004
(-=^.^=-)tHank you very very much(-=^.^=-)
i dunno who i should thankz.. i found my love.. i found someone who has the exact thinking.. n philosophy as me.. i dunno who i should say big thank you.. perhaps all my darlings..? or perhaps to him... i didn;t expect a smile, 2 smiles, 3 smiles, 4 smiles.. could actually bring love into my life.. i didn't expect that this love of my life have the same birthday as me.. i didn;t expect he would have the same feelings as me... n most of all, i didn't realised that he wasn't smiling coincidentally... he was really smiling.. n till now.. i'm glad that i've him in my life... most importantly, i have my darlings.. lixia, qiuyan, zixian n ezah.. n now.. i have another lao po already.. n tt's nancy... she's oso part n parcel of my life alreday.. i cannot dun haf anyone of these people... xuan fu.. would u wan to be my sisters for life..? today u said something really touching.. but i hope it isn't juz sweet talking.. cos i do put it in heart... u said: even if the entire world's guy dun wan me, u would still stay by me.. u said: even if the entire world's gals ignore me, u'll alwayz be my sis.. heehee... thankz my pal.. =)would you... like to be my lao po too..?? kekez... =P
i really feel like quitting school.. ireally dun feel like studying in jc anymore.. i wann drop out.. it's a strong feeling within me... but i dunno how to tell my mum.. n i dunno how to tell my dad... i wanna work.. n earn for my own living.. nobody knows how hard it is to concentrate studying now.. nobody kows how hard it is to stay at home n study.. nobody knows.. juz how hard it is to stay in a jc.. it's tough... n i really find it hard to cope.. especially when family faces problem.. all i wan is a life.. a life tt i desire...~ someone.. juz teach me how...~
darlings i love you... dear.. i love you too... i hope everything remains the same.. sweet n loving for all of us.. muackz..~
7:54 AM
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
(-=^.^=-)mUacKz(-=^.^=-)
wahahahaha... i went to lot 1 after work today.. hmm.. saw him.. but didn't went up to say hi.. cos i saw him busy with work.. heehee.. when i was about to leave lot1, i was about to take the escalator.. he saw me.. wahahahaha... guess wat UNEXPECTED thing he did...?? wahaha.. he gave me a flying kiss.. erm.. i was very very shocked to see that.. trust me.. i was real shocked.. i dunno how to react.. am now waiting for his call. but he's still not calling.. perhaps he's really tired.. n would not call tonight already.. i won't get to see him tml... i won't be able to call him tml oso.. argh...~!!! how..? maybe.. i shall juz have to wait for his precious call.. right here waiting.. =) n i didn't return the kiss juz now.. soooOoo.. eve he can't see this.. is i sincerely... mUacKz...~! ("v")
to my darlings:
xia: haiz.. ur dear dear is back.. dun forget me okie..??
xian: alwayz alwayz working working... sure can tahan mahz..? muz take gd care of urself.. tk care.. cos i care...~
ezah: haven been seeing you recently.. how are you doing...? i miss you lotz n lotz n lotz...~~~
yan: sch reopen liao dun forget me hor... still gotta come out often... muackz... ("v")jInGtiNg("v")
7:59 AM
Monday, June 21, 2004
-=gD or bad...?=-
hmm.. i wondering if u are feeling the same.. cos u didn't say anything about ur feelings... i juz dunno if u are feeling the way i do.. or are u juz playing around..?? fooling..? pls dun let me know tt u are playing or fooling only.. cos i really do like you.. so... i hope it's not a one sided thing.. n if it is.. pls do let me know.. cos.. i really really like you alot...
darlings yan n xia... thankz for the rose.. really really thank you.. cos... u all really did tk the effort to be the 1st ppl to ever gif me flowers in my life.. thankz you soooOooo much.. i treasure it.. n will alwayz rmb this in my heart.. n my mind... miss darling ezah.. very very much.. n miss weicheng alot oso.. long time no meet le, wonder how's he been doing.. muz be slacking at home ba... hahaha.. anyway.. xuan fu, thankz for alwayz being there for me..~ n all the best to u.. muackies to all of you... ("v")jINgtiNg("v")
9:39 AM
Sunday, June 20, 2004
-=fateD.. n DestiNeD...~=-
i tnk we are fated n destined.. we have the same birthday...~!!! oh.. it's like.. wow...~~~ i didn't expect it to be so coincident... n oso.. i was really sooOoo sad when u were with the 2 gals.. tot one of them sure to be ur gf.. cos i saw her holding you tt day.. =X wahahaha... [had a great laugh n joke about this with xian n nancy...] then.. u msged me sorry for not accompanying me.. hmm... i didn't ask for ur accompany.. neither did u promised.. but am soooOoo happy n delighted to se ur msg.. tot u wanna ignore me.. =X well.. i hope everything goes smoothly.. n slowly.. slow n steady wins the race...~ i really dare to say something.. i tnk i really really like you.. i dare not say it's love.. but i'm sure of my own feelings.. i'm sure i like you a lot... u took my heart away... =X
darlings... happy for me..?? hahahahaha... miss yan... n ezah lots n lots... hope we can see each other soon...??? miss you gals a lot.. muackiezZz...~!!! darlings, i love you all very much.. i dunno if i can ever survive in the world without all of you... smile darlings.. we... shall love each other no matter wat.. forever...~~~ ("v")tiNg.yAn.xiAn.xiA.eZaH("v") for life..~!! ("v")jiNgtinG("v")
9:03 AM
Saturday, June 19, 2004
-=happy... n delighted...~!!!=-
i didn't know u were really smiling at me...
i didn't realised u oso did notice my presence...
keep it sweet.. n slow...
slow n steady wins the race...
i dunno if it will work out..
but i hope.. it's gonna be great...
keep our smiling..
keep it tt way..
i love it.. juz in this way...
9:55 AM