-=LeaF's dePartuRe=-

2004-07-06T09:58:00.000-07:00

-=wHy....??? tell me why...??=-
i alwayz thought that i can commit.. hey.. wat the hell is cupid angel doing to me...?? wat are you trying to do in my life..? u gave us the fate... n gave us the destiny.. but it's a dread... y muz he be such a liar..? y muz he not be a gd person tt i can rely n hang on to...? if i break with him.. i'm the biggest flirt ever on earth/// if i dun wanna be with him anymore.. i'm the worst girl in the entire world...~!!! i dunno wat i should do.. y muz he lie to me..? y muz he be sooooOO ideal.. yet... be a liar to destroy n spoil every wonderful things...? i really dun understand y man can be sooooOoo great in cheating gals's feelings.. to tnk tt i believe verything he said initially.. i felt sooo dumb... i felt like i was soooOooo stupid ti tnk that he's a nice guy that i can love.. n be loved by... but i tnk i was totally wrong.. he coulsd actually do sooo much not nice things to HER.. y not to me in the future...? i'm scared lohz.. i'm seriously scared... tt one day.. when i'm already totally into him.. he'll dump me.. n throw me around like nobody;s business... i did love andrew alot alot... i love him, i are for him.. n so...? wat happened in the end..? he cheated on me... again n again.. i forgive n forgive.. n sooo..? wat happened in the very very end..? he dumped me.. i plead him.. wat did he say..? he loves her more.. n he left...~! alrite.. mayb i should not live in the past.. but then.. hey.. who will not tnk of the past...? n oso.. i seriously seriously tnk tt guys do get bored with a gal for long... i've seen many many many cases when the gal sooo committed n into the relationship, the guy would dump her.. i dun wanna face this type of hurt.. i juz can;t make my self love one person whole heartedly.. i did it once.. n i realised i failed..~ to keep the person by me... so wat if u wanna love him truly... will he appreciate..? yunxian love him so much, did everything she could for him.. in the end..? heleft her.. for someone he knew in the freshman orientation camp..~! he can smile to me n know me n stead with me... why not to other thousands of other gals who walk pass him everyday..?i dunno lahz.. n oso.. watever his ex said, made me doubt him even more... haiz.. i dunno how to continue le.. i wanna break.. but i do like him.. isn;t he supposed to be the ideal person in my life...? wat happened...? y muz it turn out lidat...? 'gan qing de fu chu bu shio zhen xin jiu hui you jie guo...~' perhaps this is right...~ okie.. like i've said.. if i can't work out with him, where elese can i find one..? erm.. okie.... i dun find one.. i wait for the one to look for me.. i'm tired of searching.. it's time for a 'HIM' to search for me..~ haiz...

i wanna go on diet... i really wanna go on diet... i wanna succeed... i wanna make it.. yupz.. it's for the benefit of myself.. hahaha...

darlings.. thank you for standing y me for these days... it;s been hard.. for all the decision making n stuffs lidat.. but all of you were there for me no matter wat... thankz for everything... muackz... muackz... muackz...~!!!! ("v")jIngtiNg("v")

2004-06-30T10:39:00.000-07:00

-=u r the one=-
i realised u r really really the one.. i dunno if everything would be perfect.. n would it ever last long.. but i hope to treasure you.. i've never ever met someone.. tt i tot would only come in my dreams... u appeared.. everything juz seems soooOoo perfect.. tt i'm afraid.. it's juz a dream... when i wake up frm this dream, will i still see you..? i really hope it's all reality... i alwayz wanted to find someone who will ride me on a motorbike.. someone who commit into love but not think of marriage too early.. someone who will love all animals juz like i do... someone who would bother to surf the net juz to see the different breeds of dogs... someone who would encourage me n gimme full support for my navy career... someone.. who gifs me all freedom.. n let me be who i want to be.. someone... who will be there when i need.. but would not force me to meet when i dun wan to.. someone who.. most importantly...~ would accompany me go on an adventurous tour.. around the world.. my dream.. is to go around the world within 10 yrs.. with a haversack.. my dream is to be able to sail... i found this SOMEONE.. who has exactly the same thinkng... n same feelings.. same philosophy.... same dreamz...~! i'm not joking.. i didn't forced him to say all these i've heard... he said it.. i heard it.. n i know.. deep down in my heart that... we are feeling the same.. thinking the same...~!!!! i really love this wonderful feeling... i really really love him alot.. never had i feel this special feeling after i broke up with andrew for soooOOOooo long... i dunno if he's the one for me.. but i swore to ezah darling today... that if ever.. *touch wood* i dun work out well with him... i'd never go find another one... i feel that.. if the one that i've alwayz been dreaming for, hoping for.. already appeared.. n if we still cannot work out.. then ifeel that no one can ever work out well with me anymore.. hahahaha....~~

he's away to malaysia.. dunno when he's gonna come back... but i'll miss him...~ n i hope nothing happens to him.. when he said something this afternoon, my heart wrenched... he said: if anything were to happen to me n i dun come back.. find someone better for urself... oh my goodness.. wat a thing to say.. i know u will come back.. =P

qiuyan...~! u know hor.. i still waiting to watch spiderman with ya...~ heehee... xian oso..~~ alrite.. tt's all for today.. nitez..~ hahaha... ("v")

2004-06-28T07:54:00.000-07:00

(-=^.^=-)tHank you very very much(-=^.^=-)
i dunno who i should thankz.. i found my love.. i found someone who has the exact thinking.. n philosophy as me.. i dunno who i should say big thank you.. perhaps all my darlings..? or perhaps to him... i didn;t expect a smile, 2 smiles, 3 smiles, 4 smiles.. could actually bring love into my life.. i didn't expect that this love of my life have the same birthday as me.. i didn;t expect he would have the same feelings as me... n most of all, i didn't realised that he wasn't smiling coincidentally... he was really smiling.. n till now.. i'm glad that i've him in my life... most importantly, i have my darlings.. lixia, qiuyan, zixian n ezah.. n now.. i have another lao po already.. n tt's nancy... she's oso part n parcel of my life alreday.. i cannot dun haf anyone of these people... xuan fu.. would u wan to be my sisters for life..? today u said something really touching.. but i hope it isn't juz sweet talking.. cos i do put it in heart... u said: even if the entire world's guy dun wan me, u would still stay by me.. u said: even if the entire world's gals ignore me, u'll alwayz be my sis.. heehee... thankz my pal.. =)would you... like to be my lao po too..?? kekez... =P

i really feel like quitting school.. ireally dun feel like studying in jc anymore.. i wann drop out.. it's a strong feeling within me... but i dunno how to tell my mum.. n i dunno how to tell my dad... i wanna work.. n earn for my own living.. nobody knows how hard it is to concentrate studying now.. nobody kows how hard it is to stay at home n study.. nobody knows.. juz how hard it is to stay in a jc.. it's tough... n i really find it hard to cope.. especially when family faces problem.. all i wan is a life.. a life tt i desire...~ someone.. juz teach me how...~

darlings i love you... dear.. i love you too... i hope everything remains the same.. sweet n loving for all of us.. muackz..~

2004-06-22T07:59:00.000-07:00

(-=^.^=-)mUacKz(-=^.^=-)
wahahahaha... i went to lot 1 after work today.. hmm.. saw him.. but didn't went up to say hi.. cos i saw him busy with work.. heehee.. when i was about to leave lot1, i was about to take the escalator.. he saw me.. wahahahaha... guess wat UNEXPECTED thing he did...?? wahaha.. he gave me a flying kiss.. erm.. i was very very shocked to see that.. trust me.. i was real shocked.. i dunno how to react.. am now waiting for his call. but he's still not calling.. perhaps he's really tired.. n would not call tonight already.. i won't get to see him tml... i won't be able to call him tml oso.. argh...~!!! how..? maybe.. i shall juz have to wait for his precious call.. right here waiting.. =) n i didn't return the kiss juz now.. soooOoo.. eve he can't see this.. is i sincerely... mUacKz...~! ("v")

to my darlings:
xia: haiz.. ur dear dear is back.. dun forget me okie..??
xian: alwayz alwayz working working... sure can tahan mahz..? muz take gd care of urself.. tk care.. cos i care...~
ezah: haven been seeing you recently.. how are you doing...? i miss you lotz n lotz n lotz...~~~
yan: sch reopen liao dun forget me hor... still gotta come out often... muackz... ("v")jInGtiNg("v")

2004-06-21T09:39:00.000-07:00

-=gD or bad...?=-
hmm.. i wondering if u are feeling the same.. cos u didn't say anything about ur feelings... i juz dunno if u are feeling the way i do.. or are u juz playing around..?? fooling..? pls dun let me know tt u are playing or fooling only.. cos i really do like you.. so... i hope it's not a one sided thing.. n if it is.. pls do let me know.. cos.. i really really like you alot...

darlings yan n xia... thankz for the rose.. really really thank you.. cos... u all really did tk the effort to be the 1st ppl to ever gif me flowers in my life.. thankz you soooOooo much.. i treasure it.. n will alwayz rmb this in my heart.. n my mind... miss darling ezah.. very very much.. n miss weicheng alot oso.. long time no meet le, wonder how's he been doing.. muz be slacking at home ba... hahaha.. anyway.. xuan fu, thankz for alwayz being there for me..~ n all the best to u.. muackies to all of you... ("v")jINgtiNg("v")

2004-06-20T09:03:00.000-07:00

-=fateD.. n DestiNeD...~=-
i tnk we are fated n destined.. we have the same birthday...~!!! oh.. it's like.. wow...~~~ i didn't expect it to be so coincident... n oso.. i was really sooOoo sad when u were with the 2 gals.. tot one of them sure to be ur gf.. cos i saw her holding you tt day.. =X wahahaha... [had a great laugh n joke about this with xian n nancy...] then.. u msged me sorry for not accompanying me.. hmm... i didn't ask for ur accompany.. neither did u promised.. but am soooOoo happy n delighted to se ur msg.. tot u wanna ignore me.. =X well.. i hope everything goes smoothly.. n slowly.. slow n steady wins the race...~ i really dare to say something.. i tnk i really really like you.. i dare not say it's love.. but i'm sure of my own feelings.. i'm sure i like you a lot... u took my heart away... =X

darlings... happy for me..?? hahahahaha... miss yan... n ezah lots n lots... hope we can see each other soon...??? miss you gals a lot.. muackiezZz...~!!! darlings, i love you all very much.. i dunno if i can ever survive in the world without all of you... smile darlings.. we... shall love each other no matter wat.. forever...~~~ ("v")tiNg.yAn.xiAn.xiA.eZaH("v") for life..~!! ("v")jiNgtinG("v")

2004-06-19T09:55:00.000-07:00

-=happy... n delighted...~!!!=-
i didn't know u were really smiling at me...
i didn't realised u oso did notice my presence...
keep it sweet.. n slow...
slow n steady wins the race...
i dunno if it will work out..
but i hope.. it's gonna be great...
keep our smiling..
keep it tt way..
i love it.. juz in this way...

2004-06-18T07:06:00.000-07:00

-=happy...~!!!=-
happy happy day.. had a wonderful day with darling xian.. n yan.. n my dearest fren nancy.. hmm.. nancy not really very happy lehz... cos of tt stupid yingtao thing lohz.. haiz.. dunno how to help oso... anyway.. tonight dun really haf much to say.. juz tt i enjoyed alot.. n tt i really really love my darlings..

i didn't get to see you.. although i already know tt i won't get to see you.. but i still feeling very down.. went to take a peek but then.. haha.. as expected lohz.. hmm.. i miss you.. lotz n lotz.. tml... hope to see ya...~!!! miss you lotz... ("v")jIngTiNg("v")

2004-06-17T11:25:00.000-07:00

-=mixed feelings=-
i went all the way there to cya... but i didn't get to even see ur soul... hmm.. kinda happy tt u didn't work today.. but.. oso a little sad.. gotta know tt u oso not working tml... but nvm.. shall see you on sat n sun.. n mon.. n tues.. wahahaha.. dunno lehz.. i never get to see ya today.. i a little upset.. kept thinking of the flashes tt she held ur hand... everyone tells me tt she's either ur sister or cousin... or mother.. wahahaha.. but hmm.. who on earth will make herself believe tt gal isn't ur gf..? erm... nvm... i juz would hope for the better...

work was okie today.. wahahaha.. bing long.. erm.. is a very weird n funny guy lohz... dunno wat's he thinking alwayz... n keep the fishy look on his face.. today.. tok to me.. n i feel tt sudden;y we can click very well.. kinda feel happy tt now i can click with all colleagues.. including hong hao.. so.. very very gd le..

miss robo q again.. wa lau.. how many days never eat liao ahz...?? seems decades.. alwayz never meet xian go lot1 hor, sure no robo q to eat de... miss miss miss~~~~~~~~~ aRgh... miss lahz.. u all know lahz... i dun haf the wings.. will die de lohz.. really really really will die de lohz... if one day u all see me with wings.. u all know y.. hahahaha... =X

darlings.. i made the decision.. n carried out the decision today.. it was a success... i know... it would juz end here already.. it's gonna be back to our own carefree.. n wonderful loving life... i no longer have to worry for my freedom.. n i am free once more.. i've moved fwd in life.. n would wan to move even more... i learnt tt i need to find a someone.. who is at least 3-4 yrs older than me.. cos.. the maturity level.. really needs to balance out.. well, u all know wat i'm saying... all in all... congrats me n hope for the better for me... thankz darlings.. muackz... love you gals alotz.. looking fwd to tml... so tt we can go out again.. n oso... tml.. u all no need accompany me go to tt SOMEWHERE.. cos no pt.. won't get anything out of it... saturday n sunday then go... okie okie...?? heehee... u all moved the mountains, n shifted the eclipse in my life.. u all juz... have the power to shake sky shake earth.. wahahahaha... u all create wonders in my life.. without u all, i'll never had went thru so much... thankz.. n oso.. i wanna let the entire world know tt.. i would pray n pray tt someone whom u all love n loves you all, will come... but i never would wan anyone to hurt anyone of your feelings.. xia,, i know u r safe n sound already.. n i wish u all the best.. n as for darlings yan, ezah n xian... the best is yet to come.. i gif u all my moral encouragement, n i know... u all.. will haf someone someday... love ya lotz.. for the time being.. let the someone in our lifes, be each other... we are in the same boat now.. =) *hi 5.. wahahahaha.. true love comes from the bottom of the heart.. ("v")jIngTinG("v")

2004-06-16T09:02:00.000-07:00

-=HeaRt bRokeN=-
i plastered my heart today...
it was bleeding profusely..
i couldn't stop...
y did u smile..?
y did u gave me ur beautiful glance...?
y did everything happened..?
when did my heart flew..?
when did u snatched it away..?
how did u haf the right to ever do it..?
u took it.. n u tore it..~
i had to plastered it back...
i was naive...
i was stupid..
i crushed onto a heart breaker...~

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I can't pretend I don't care
When you don't think about me
Do you think I deserve this?

I'm trying to forget that
Im addicted to you
But I want it and I need it
Im addicted to you
Now it's over
Heartbreaker... heartbreaker... heartbreaker

Since the day I met you
And after all we've been through
Still a smile
I'm addicted to you
I think you know that it's true
I'd run a thousand miles to get you
Do you think I deserve this?

How long will I be waiting?
Until the end of time
I don't know why I'm still waiting
I can't make you mine

heartbreaker...
im addicted to you...
heartbreaker...
im addicted to you...
heartbreaker...
im addicted to you...
heartbreaker...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i'll try to forget everything.. i dunno y i went so deep.. i dunno when i went so deep... i oso didn't realised that i really had fell for it... was i being too naive..? never had i fell in this way.. i tnk.. i will never do it again.. i hope the smiles doesn't continue.. cos i dun wanna get deeper... if he smiles to me... i'll know tt he smiles to everyone n every soul he sees... tt's it.. i really am feeling the pain.. which i tnk i shouldn't at all... i had to bear with the pain throughout work today... it was so unbearable.. when i went home alone today... i heard the song 'my everthing' by 98 degrees, i cried...
i know i cried not because i cannot get him... but i start to realised that i never had a wonderful love before... never in my life.. y izzit lidat..? i tnk.. it's cos... i dun haf the character.. i dun haf the qualities... i never had a dream come true.. never in my entire life... i'm tired already.. very...~

-X-[dedicated to myself]-X-

ai yi ge ren xu yao yuan fen...
ni he ku rang zi ji yue xian yue shen...
bie sha de yong ni de tian zhen qu peng chu bu an de ling hun...
mei yi tian zhi neng chi chi de deng...
ai yi ge ren bie tai ren zhen..
ni shou shang de yan shen, ling ren xin teng..
mei you yi ge ren, fei yao ling yi ge ren, cai neng guo yi sheng...
ni you he ku bi zi ji, mian dui shang hen....
wo zhi dao ni hen nan guo...
gan qing de fu chu bu shi zhen xin jiu hui you jie guo..
bie wen zen me zuo, ai cai neng chang jiu..
zhe dao li you yi tian ni hui dong..
wo zhi dao ni hen nan guo....
zuo tian shi lian ren.. jin tian shuo fen shou...
jiu fen shou...
bie wen ni de tong.. yao zen me jie tuo..
duo qing de ren zhu ding... shang de bi jiao jiu...~
ai rou bian cheng le ci, si nian ye cheng le chi....
ye xu xin sui shi ai qing zhui mei de yang zi....

tml will be better.. cos i'm looking fwd to seeing my darlings each day.. i knew... loving them.. is gonna be much more worth than loving anyone other else... darlings.. i need you.. n i love you.. muackz.. am i turning les..? nope..~ cos i'm addicted.. to him... ("v")jIngtiNg("v")

2004-06-15T10:10:00.000-07:00

-=happy... overjoyed...=-
wahahahaha... today i'm soooOooo happy.. is really very happy.. cos i met lixia darling.. kekez.. n oso xian n yan... n oso got nancy... at food court saw lim wc n huang... heehee... had lunch together.. den we rot at lot 1 whole day... hmm... update xia on alot of things.. she oso got tell me alot about her recent beings.. heehee... i know she misses her dear dear alot alot.. so 'tian mi'.. so sweet.. kekez... then she walked me home wor...~~ as usual when we alwayz meet.. isn't she the nicest person on earth..? she'd walk me home everytime we meet... so nice of her.. i knew i didn't love the wrong one.. hahaha... muackz.. n xian n yan n ezah.. equally gd.. heehee.. sounds so les.. but i very straight.. cos i oso love guys lahz.. =X okie.. i sound so spastic now.. going bonkers.. happy.. n delighted..~!

i saw ur smile...
i saw ur eyes...
but i didn't see ur heart...
i saw ur smile..
i didn't understand ur thoughts...
i saw ur eyes...
n i wondered y...
was it all coincidental...?
or was it all destined...?
am i being obvious...?
or i thought u were oso obvious..?
doubts n confusions...
how i wish.. i could wish upon a star...
to understand... my fears...

heehee.... tml.. will be another happy day.. i really am happy today.. very high.. oso dunno y.. haha... =) ("v")jiNgtiNG("v")

2004-06-14T07:46:00.000-07:00

-=am i a disgrace...??=-
hey.. am i a disgrace..? i start to think that i'm right to think of ending the tie... it's like no point anymore.. well.. okie.. i'm cold to him..he's upset..??? i doubt so.. cos he denies to ppl tt i'm his gf.. n he denies to someone whom he said he'll never deny...~! alright... tt marks the end of everything.. it shall.. juz end here... =)

hmmm.. i dunno if i'm thinking too much.. heehee.. are my eyes playing tricks on me or am i juz having some imagination...? everytime i look into ur eyes, i wonder if u have the same feelings... everytime we smile.. there is a wonder in between... i steal glances n i alwayz manage to see ur beautiful eyes.. am i dreaming..? or am i imagining...? or izzit true tt u do notice me..? i stole many many glances... u stole away my guts, n my heart... i dunno if it's infatuation.. but i do know.. it's a crush.. everytime we walk pass each other.. izzit coincidence or izzit accidental..? i choose to believe tt u didn't have the feeling to do it on purpose.. it's obvious i look at u.. but it ain't obvious tt u are alwayz smiling... well.. time shall reveal the answers...

darlings.. i love all of you.. truely, madly... n i wanna clarify that i'm not a flower heart person... i don't go around flirting like nobody's busniess... so... it's really really not my fault to fall for another.. when i'm still in a relationship... well.. i really really really... isn't tt bad... if only he was better..? if only he wasn't the one to be so controlling... if only.... we really had love each other... but it doens't seems the way.. u all know the situation.. u all know everything.. i fell.. for the fact.. i know.. i... hope u all do understand what i'm trying to drive here.. n i hope u all will gimme ur fullest support for wat i'm gonna do in the next step of life.... muackz.. all i need is you all..~! ("v")jiNgtiNg("v")

2004-06-13T07:02:00.000-07:00

(-=^.^=-)heEheE(-=^.^=-)

R wE fateD..?
NeVeR haD i wOndeReD..
oUr sMiLeS mArKeD tHe sTaRt...
I dUn aSk fOr aLoT...
bUt, i neeD tHe fAitH iN mYseLf...
cAn i...?
oR wAs i wRonG tO seE u sMiLinG..?
keEp iT swEeT tHat wAy...
QuiCkLy sHaLL maKe uS misS tHe fAtE...

haiz.. i dunno lahz... it's really really a pain.. it's really such a big big pain... how can i stop it...? i mean... it's like.... wa lau lohz... erm.. i wanna indicate that i'm not a flower... all who knows me know tt i'm not a flower... neither am i the very very colourful n bright n clinging one... but how come...? i didn't ask my stalk to go ask a knife to chop us apart.. i didn't ask the stalk to ask the knife for suicidal... but... it was the stalk itself tt make the petals wanting to break free... it isn't the petals fault... it isn't the knife's fault... it oso isn't the stalk's fault... but i'm rather sure... it will be broken someday.. somehow... it may not be the knife to chop the stalk... but it may be the petals which decided to wilt away... Am not a flower... am a mimosa... touch me not... bother me not.. or i might juz close up.. n ignore everything.. the more i close up.. the more irritated am i... i need sunlight.. i need water... i need air... i need soil... n all i need is not bothers.. but love.. n i can survive in all types of environment.. need not worry for the worst n terrible land i may live in.. need not worry i might wilt in worst climate.. but do worry when i get trampled n touched often... i will wilt n gif up life... erm... i dunno if anyone can understand wat i am trying to say.. but i'm rather sure that my darlings will know wat i'm trying to convey...
i once tried the feeling n theory of:leaf departure is cos of wind's pursuit or tree didn't ask her to stay... n i realised that it was cos tt tree didn't want her to stay...
now.. i'm experiencing another type of feeling n theory: i'm not a flower, but a mimosa.. i tnk it's knife tt i'm hoping to get.. n my petals drop cos the stalk forced it to do so.. i have my 4 BIG needs.. i know they know who they are.. =)
i gotta stop here... cos i'm getting tired... (-=^0^=-)jiNgtiNg(-=^0^=-)

2004-06-12T04:16:00.000-07:00

-=back=-
yoz yoz yoz ppl...~ me... back..~~~~ hmm... i dunno how to re-update on things lehz... mayb juz start on the basics... i wanna state resolutions for myself...
(1) i wanna get an average of B(s) for my mid yr examinations
(2) love my darlings as much as ever.. heehee...
(3) excel in cca..
(4) be hardworking during work...
(5) to be.. a gd gd girl girl at home...
heehee... i mean it when i say all these... n darlings...~~~~ it's been more than decades we didn't meet... i dun wanna lose the time with u all.. i was sick... very very sick.. n i was away frm home.. n so many things happened in between... erm.. shall we meet up one day..??? soon.......????? miss ya miss ya miss ya....~ lixia...~~ zixian...~~ qiuyan...~~~ eZah...~~~~~ hmm.. i juz simply miss all of u... n i love you.. muackz....~ eternity..~ kekez...
i miss ROBOq...~!!!! i miss miss miss...~~~ someone..~` bring me there someday... please...??? miss it lotz n lotz... n lotz..~!!! wahahaha... xian.... u know y..~ kekez...
all right.. tt's all.. i know this blog seems very spastic.. but it isn't surprising.. cos i had fever... up to 39 degrees.. some of my nerves aRE destroyed... heehee... tt's all... =) ("v")jinGtiNg("v")

2004-06-03T10:14:00.000-07:00

-=how ahz..?=-
ehz... dunno lehz... very very messy in life... my dad... not very gd.. ut ihope he's gonna be well n okie soon... wel.. other than this in life tt i worry... i tnk tt's about all.. n i noe.. when he's well n okie.. i'm oso gonna fel the happiest moment of life.. hahha... he's okie.. n i'm happy...
erm... okie lahz.. nothing much already... working in swensens is a great deal of fun lohz... great great fun.. ppl there is so nice.. n friendly.. well... i'm gonna keep this job no matter wat... n hor... only that one attitude person cannot click with me.. oops.. i cannot click with him... he.... very weird weird de.. but he's so click with nancy lehz.. izzit my prob..? but then.. xian oso cannot click with him.. so... is he's prob.. hahaha... anyway... they are nice ppl lahz.. n supper after wor with them is... okie lohz.. quite fun... but then hor... very very fattening.. -_-|| hahaha.. nvm lahz.. juz hope that i dun do closing every nite.. or else every nite supper hor.. will..... fat..~! hahaha...
hmm.... i miss robo q... i miss lot1... nowadays keep staying in plaza until i really really miss lot1 liao... hmm... n oso... i really really really miss robo q...~ ehz.. i dunno y.. but... i.. juz miss it lotz.... hope to be at lot1 soon... heehee... n den... wanna watch harry potter... hmmm... dunno lehz... now dun really haf time.. see how bahz...
i miss ezah.... i miss darling ezah...~~~~~ miss miss miss...~~~ muackz... meet u soon..?? i miss xia oso... hmm.. wonder where she's been.. like lost liao.. ='( hoping to see ya soon yahz...??
juz now ate dinner with xian... thong kiat n li sheng... weird combi hor...? hahaha.. but nevertheless we had fun lohz.. cos they very crappy... as usual..~~ den tt thong kiat.. wa lau lohz... wear tt dunno wat shirt... (porn star) attract attention nia.. hahahaha....
haiz... waiting for my new phone.. my phone spoil liao.. sobz sobz... me... wanna get 6610i... coolz...~! love it lotz n lotz.. hahaha... waiting.. right here waiting...
i neglect u... i know u treat me gd... i appreciate.. =) ("v")jIngTinG("v")

2004-05-31T11:21:00.000-07:00

i dunno.. i got mixed feeling.. i dun wanna hurt anyone.. i dun wanna make someone who likes n loves me soooOoo much to be heart broken.. but then.... how ,uch do i love in return...??? how much CAN i love in return..??? n how much am i willing to return...??? n reciprocate..?? i dunno... i love everything else in life.. i tnk.. i'm xing fu enough... even without this.. that i've juz got... i alwayz thoughT that all i haf is not enough.. i alwayz complain.. n hope to have it.. but.. now tt i haf... i'm wondering if it's necessary... cos.. life b4 this... was much more xing fu n kuai le... loved... n cared for... but... i wan a carefree life.. i guess humans are contradicting.. when u haf it.. u dun wan it.. when u are missing it.. u will never get it.. hey.. i'm lost okie... very lost... n stressed out... very... very.. stressed out.. no one will understand wat i'm trying to say here... but perhaps darling xian can understand n noe exactly how i feel... she noes..~ n i noe...~ haiz... n it's like.. i left so many undone mess.. i hate myself for tt...
i left someone waiting aimlessly... i left someone hurt n lost... i left someone hoping to see me soon.. n i left someone who's gonna be hurt soon... hey..... wat's my problem..? i seriously dunno.. perhaps.. i juz dun love all of them enough.. enough to make me settle down..
all i know now.. is that as long as i haf xian.. yan.. ezah.. xia... life's almost complete... i meant ALMOST..~ i dunno wat's tt missing piece of puzzle.. perhaps... it's something.. i need time to find.. n wait.. n let it nurture...
oops... wahahaha... wa lau lohz... tt GUY likes me..?? hahaha... cannot be lahz.. perhaps is they joking around bahz... cos ahz.. he's like one of the hottest topic between me,xian and nancy lohz... he... so... act big lidat.. but then today.. he treat me real nice lehz.. super nice okie..~! extreme nice...~!!! to the core sia...~ treat me ice cream... tok to me.. never scold me when i broke the ketchup... teach me more new stuffs... haiz.. but too bad YT..~! too bad..! u r younger than me... continue to like if u wan.. but.. i dunno when will i ever tnk n consider u.. cos.. i dunno.. if i ever would... heehee... but one thing i wanna say.. tt is.. i no longer hate u as much.. cos u let me see the gd side n caring side.. n mr nicey side of you..~
life... is TOO complete.. i'm getting not used to it..~ i'm trying to adapt.. but y make life difficult for myself..?? i dunno.. wait n see... tml.... i shall..................
("v")jiNgtiNg("v")

2004-05-28T10:32:00.000-07:00

-=pAiN pAiN=-
wa lau... wat a day lohz... I SPRAINED MY ANKLE..... I SPRAINED MY ANKLE... hey.. loh weicheng muz be sitting at some corner 'smiling darkly' already... my darlings... happy liao lohz.. alwayz say dun sprain ankle ahz... now really sprain le.. wa piang... very very very pain... extremely pain lohz... humph...~! nvm ahz... will heal de.. got xuan fu pain with me... *smiling darkly* oso... wahahahaha... no lahz.. i not sadistic.. haha... hmm.. my dear dear oso sick sick... n pain pain.. dear.. u muz tk gd care okie..? cos me really feel pain when u pain.. oso.. dun balme urself for my spraining of ankle.. cos it's my fault... really.. it's mine.. okie..? muackz... =)
watched the day after tml... hmm.. nice nice show... highly highly recommended... watched with my darling yan n xian.. nice lohz.. xian n i siao siao... go in n laugh laugh laugh like nobody's business... really really funny joke hor.. no one laugh lehz.. only we two like crazy lidat... kekekez... hmm.. happy day.. but very pain lohz... hope tml he chinese physician dun do it hard on me... =P wahahaha... okie lahz.. i go slp le.. nitez nitez... =P
("v")darlings...("v") n oso.. ("v")dear dear...("v") muackz.... (^0^)
("v")jiNgtiNg("v")

2004-05-25T07:02:00.000-07:00

-=neW Life=-
i've got my new com.. got a new life as well... i... many things had happen in these days of my life... haven been blogging... haven been updating about my life... i dunno where i shall start.. i dunno where to begin updating... hmmm.. as for today.. i juz wanna say something that hasn't change for the past fewweeks when i haven been blogging... i juz wanna let all my darlings noe that i love you all dearly... really love you all with all my heart n soul.. n i dun bluff.. i cross my heart n swear... it's like... so many things had changed... so so so many things.. however.. there is juz one thing that is still the same.. n that is... i still love Zixian, Lixia, Qiuyan and Faezah dearly.... n i really really do....
for the fact that i found my dear... doesn't make the fact that u all will not be my darlings... u all know wat i mean...? i really really hope u all do...~!
dear... ehz... i 'zhong you qing se'... u know de.. but dun jealous wor.. cos.. i really like you.. n true love comes from the bottom of the heart.. i appreciate watever u do for me.. n i know u seriously do care.. =)
darlings lao po... love really is the word to show everything i feel for u all... i cannot lose anyone of you.. i really really cannot... i can't.. for even a moment of my life... u all know it.. n i hope u all can feel it too... =)
dear... i'm trying hard... really... but juz noe i love you too.. =) ("v")jingTinG("v")

2004-05-02T06:12:00.000-07:00

-= LiFe suX=-
DaDDy iSn't gettiNg beTtEr.. i dUnNo... i dUnnO hOw i shLd reAct tO aLL tHeSe.. hOmEwoRk sUx... sChooL sUx... n LifE siMpLy sUx... i'M thiNkinG oF dRopPing oUt.. i waNna gO tO tHe cOurSe oF mY dReaMz... mAriNe eNgiNeeRiNg sImPLy rOcKz.. i dunNo... haiZZz... i'M gLad tO sAy.. i haVe wOndErfuL fRenZ... reaL gReaT n wOndErfuL fRenZ aRouNd mE... n mY daRLinGs.. u rOcK mY wOrLd... u aLL sTanD bY mE wHenEvEr i nEed hELp... u aRe tHe oNeS wHo kNow wAt i'M gOinG tHru nOw... aM gLaD.. n haPpY tO hAve u aLL iN mY LifE... tHanK yOu... n wiTh aLL mY hEaRt n sOuL.. i sWeaR tHat.. i reaLLy dO LovE u aLL aLoT.. n tHe LovE i hAvE.. iS mUch mOrE tHan wAt a 'cOuPLe' sHLd hAvE.. haHaHa... aM nOt a LeSbiAn.. aNd tHis kInd oF LoVe.. iS fAr bEyoNd tHe wOrD 'fRenshiP'... n mUch bEyoNd tHe LimIt oF 'i love yOu'... iT iS... hEartfeLt eTernaL feeLinG of sOmethiNg tHat i cannOt dEsbriBe... hmMm.. i tnk u aLL thinKinG i uTteriNg rUbbiSh.. hahaha... bUt.. juZ noE... tHat.. i.. jUz LOVE aLL oF yOU... i nEver wiLL waN tO Lose u aLL.. n sO.. nOthiNg cHangEs mY LovE.. n wE shALL... ALWAYZ ALWAYZ reMAiN tHe saMe... mUacKieZ... ("v")xiA+xIan+eZah+yAn+tiNg=eTernitY("v")
-=-fOr aLL tHe tiMes u sTooD bY mE.. fOr aLL tHe tRutH tHat u maDe mE sEe.. fOr aLL tHe jOy.. u bRouGht tO mT LifE.. fOr aLL tHe wRonGs tHat u mAde riGht.. fOr eVerY dReaM yOu mAde cOmE tRue.. fOr aLL tHe LovE i FouNd iN yOu... U'Re eVerYthiNg i aM... bEcaUsE yOu LoVe mE...-=-[dEdicAted tO aLL oF yOu...] ("v")jiNgtinG("v")

2004-04-27T08:25:00.000-07:00

-=yiPPeE...~!!=-
wEnt fOr mOviE mAraThon tOdAy..~! wiTh daRLinGs ziXiAn n qiuYan.. n LaN hOU(LazY mOnkEy)... hmMm... waTchEd 50 fIrsT daTes n dAwn oF tHe dEad.. eHz.. 50 1sT daTes.. hIghLy reCommEndEd.. sUpeR nIcE nicE..~! aS fOr daWn oF tHe dEad.. pPL wHo kNow mE kNows tHat i vEry sCarEd of thIs typE of ShowS de.. nOt vEry vEry appEaLinG tO mE.. bUt... aS LonG aS i PLucKeD oUt tHe cOurAge tO watCh aHz... cAn LiaO.. n i dIDn't bitE anyOne.. aMaziNgLy.. i didn't eVen grAb aNyoNe besiDe mE... heEheE.. grEat iMprOveMenT... 3 cHeeRs.. =P oVeraLl.. iT's stiLL oKiE.. LAhZ... heEheE.. bUt sOrrY tO LeFt Lao Po LixiA oUt.. sOrrY dArLinG DeaR, i DiDn't mEanT tHis tO hAppEn.. cOs u waTchEd bOth tHe sHowS Le... sOrrY.. we sHaLL watCh KomA tOgEthEr.. yiPpEe..~! mUacKiez n huggiEs tO aLL mY daRLinGs.. n gD lucK tO eZah fOr tML's tEsT.. xIan n xIa.. sTudY haRd oSo.. tEsTs aRouNd tHe cOrnEr... tK cAre... LoVe aLL oF u DeaRLy...("v")jiNgtiNg("v")

2004-04-26T08:08:00.000-07:00

-=tiReD dAy... sHagGeD...=-
maSs pE...~!!! siAnzAtiOn... tiReD... rAn LikE siAo.. bUt pRouD of mYseLf.. i mAdE it... wiThiN 26 miNs.. yEah..~!! hahaha... =X hmM... after maSs pE... LeFt scH n meEt LaN hOu...(lAzY mOnkEy) eHz... actUaLLy sAy onLy mE n hiM LaHz.. dEn hOr.. wHen i reAch tHeRe.. aGAIN...~!!! gOt a BIG grOuP oF tHem tHeRe aLreAdy.. (naMeLy: sHao hOng, wEn jiE, caLviN, haO weI n weI hAn) yeAh.. tHesE aRe tHe pPL i mEt dUriNg tHe "aLamAk" bbaLL dAy.. tHey aRe qUitE friEndLy.. bUt... a biT weIrD loHz... i stiLL dUn reaLLy nOe theM weLL.. deN... sHao hOng sTartEd tOkinG tO mE.. LAMELY.. reaLLY iS LAme... hE triEd tO psYcHo mE wiTh 1+1=3.. dEn... aT a pT oF tiMe.. i actUaLLy sAy.. "yaHz.. 1+1=3".. iS pUreLy aCcidEntaL... n aLL oF thEm sTarTed LauGhiNg.. hahaha.. =X
dEn.. aNywAy.. mE n LanHoU wEnt JurOng pOinT aFtEr sLacKinG at Lot 1.. aCcoMpaNy hiM gO bUy hiS sHoe bAg.. deN mE wanNa buy waLLeT bUt stiLL caN't fiNd waT i LikE.. hmM... wE weNt aLL tHe chI:diSh sHopS.. jUz iN sEarcH of hiS mAteS... mONkEyS..~!! reaLLy fUnnY LohZ.. tWo gRown uPs PlayiNg wiTh mOnkEys in kiDDy paLacE.. -_-"""
tHen wE eLectRiFy eAch oThEr.. hE siAo dE LohZ.. keeP dOinG iT oN pUrposE.. cOme n pUt hiS hAnds neAr.. dEn saY ' aiyAh, dUn hAf.. '.. oR 'aIyaH, paiN hOr.. haha..' LikE tWo sIao ppL waLkiNg aLonG JP.. hahaha... dEn LauGh LikE sOme cRazY pPL fRom wOOdbRidGe... dEn gO eaT aT LonG jOhn siLvErs... dEn gO hOmE.. tAkE MRT n tOk aBouT tHat bAstArd aNdReW.. dEn hE mAde mE LaugH n LauGh... hmM.. tT's aLL LohZ...
-=-=("v")i dunnO.. hOw.. i fEar tHe PaiN tHat mIgHt briNg iN fUtUrE... LeT mE tnK thRu.. i neEd tiMe tO sOrT ouT mY oWn feeLinGs.. ("v")=-=-
("v")jIngtinG("v")

2004-04-25T06:52:00.000-07:00

i LivE iN aGonY..
i livE iN PaiN...
i'M Lost...
iN a wOrLd nAmEd LuRvE...
i cOuLdn't fiNd mY wAy oUt oF iT...
i'M a faiLuRe...
i tnK i'M LosT..
jUz iN beTweeN tWo treEs..
bOth R new bOrnE..
sO neW tO mE.. yEt i tNk i'M iN LovE wiTh tHem..
fOr tHey atTracT mE iN diFfeRenT waYs..
i dUnNo wHiCh oNe wiLL rEap n sOw..
bUt i nOe....
i'M LosT..
i neEd a gUiDe..
i neEd a wAy..
bOth aRe sO taLL aBovE mE..
sO nEar yEt sO fAr..
sO fAr.. yEt sO neAR..
tHey sEeMs taLL n aWay fRom tHe reaLitY oF mY LifE..
i sHaLL waiT fOr tHe cUPiD's cUe...
tO LeAd mE aLonG tHe wAy...
LeT nAtuRe tAkE it'S cOuRsE...
i daRe nOt sTeP inTo trUe LuRvE aGaiN...
fOr fEar oF bEinG hUrt aGaiN...
i dunNo y i'm sO iNdEcisiVe..
i dUnnO y i'M aLwaYz pUzzLed n cOnfUsED..
i dUnNo iF i seRiousLy LikE tHem..?
hiM...? oR hIm...?
nO oNe wiLL nOe waT i mEaN..
cOs...
i dUn eVen nOe iT mYseLf...
LuRvE = aGonY
("v")jIngtiNG("v")

2004-04-24T09:07:00.000-07:00

-=siAnzatiOn=-
wEnt PS, oRcHarD... sO cRowDeD.. sO siAnz...dunNo wAt tO Do... hAiz... bUt i mEt dARLinGs.. sO oKiE LoHz... eRm.. duNno wAt tO sAy tOdAy.. haHa.. jUz LidaT LoHz...
-=[^i'm nOt sUrE iF i sHLd jUz giF uP.. n gO oN.. n tReat u aS a bUddY.. i tNk i shLds.. cOs i kNow u feeL mOre fOr hEr.. n perhAps.. tRue eNouGh.. u dUn feeL tHe waY i Do... gimMe tiMe.. i shaLL nOt hOLd oN.. n mAke thiNgs sO diFficuLt fOr mYseLf... i tnK i sHLd bE gLad wiTh wAt wE aRe nOw.. perhAps.. it's reaLLy sUffiCieNt...^]=- ("v")jIngtInG("v")

2004-04-23T07:21:00.000-07:00

-= hUh...?=-
a 'HUH...? *sCratcH hEad*' dAy... haHahA.. =X wHy a hUh daY...? cOs fiNisH sCh sUpeR dUpeR eArLy... dEn LeFt sCh n DarLinG FaeZah cALLed mE fOr LunCh... i went wiTh hEr.. n wE hAd a GreAt tiMe gOssiPpinG n LaughiNg.. sHe weNt hOme fOr mUggiNg... n aT tHis poiNt oF timE wHen wE wEre waLkinG frOm tEck wHye tO Lot1.. yUanZhEn (a.k.a LanhOu/LaogAo) mSgeD mE... hmM.. n sO.. wE mEt aT Lot 1 tO 'rOt' aGaiN... eHz.. quEstiOn: wHen DiD wE bEcaMe sO gD..? i oSo dUnnO... okiE.. tHe hUh n dUh paRt cOmes iN liAo... LaSt nitE sAy meeT aT Lot 1 cOs i wAnt hiM tO heLp mE geT 'passiOn oF tHe cHrist' tIckEt.. i waNna waTch iT aLonE cOs mY darLinGs n Lao Pos aLL nOt frEE.. dEn.. wE eNdEd uP rOttiNg in fOod cOuRt.. dEn wHen i aSk hIm tO heLp mE gEt tiCkEt.. hE aSked mE dUn gO n waTch LaHz.. wAtch aLonE soooOooo bOriNg n nOt fUn.. OMG...~!! n hE DiD pErsUade mE inTo nOt waTchiNg.. dEn gUesS wAt..? wE tooK MRT tO yeW tEe.. cOs hE demAndEd tHat yew teE iS mUch cLoseR tO CCK sTadiUm.. i dIdn'T waNt tO fiGht bAck cOs i cAn't ouTaLk hIm.. i wEnt CCK sTadiUm tO gEt mY bbaLL jErseY.. wE wALkeD frM yEw teE MRT OKiE..~! it's dAmn fAr.. bUt hE fInaLLy KneW tHat i wAs rIgHt..~! hAhAHa... bOugHt tHe jErseY.. n waLkEd bAck tO Lot 1 tO meeT hiS fRenZ... heY.. i waNna gO hOme n sLp LiaO.. bUt hE iNsisteD tHat i jOin tHem fOr bbaLL aT yeW teE paRk.. tOLd mE onLy gOt 4 pErsoNs... THEN eNdEd uP wiTh 10 PPL...~! woW... sO eXtrA LeHz.. wAnteD tO bAck oUt bUt hE sAy hE aLwaYz aCcompaNy mE rOt dEn mE waNna 'fAng Fei jI'... aRgH..~! dEn tAg aLonG... LikE sOme weiRdO... dEn PLAy bBaLL wiTh tHem wAs a trUe LeTdOwn.. they aLL sO pRo.. pLay cOntAct.. mE duNno tHem.. oF cOurSe seeMs iDioT siA...~! sO pAisEh..~! tHen aFteR 2 gAmeS.. i aCt antI-sOciAL LiaO.. hmMm.. dEn i Go hOmE fIrst.. oSo dUnnO y gOt tRappeD iN sUch fUnnY n aWkwaRd siTuatIoN.. hEeHee.. bUt tHey aRe aLL vEry fRienDLy pPL.. n tHey aRe vEry gD bbALL pLayErs.. sOrrY LanhOu.. fOr bEiNg sO sTucK uP jUz nOw..
DaRLinGs LixIa, zIxIan aNd qIuYAn...~!!! i mUz nOt dEnY tHat wiThoUt mEetIng u aLL... LifE's a DreAd..~!! i misS ODiN DaYs... i MisS tHe cLosEst n hAppiEst tImeS wE hAd.. are wE sLowLy sPLittiNg..? pLeAse dUn..~!! mIsS tHe dAys...~ misS tHe gD tiMes wE aLL sHarE... sAnka sLowLy dRifT aWay.. sO iS jUnjIe, wEnkAi... jUz wAn aLL of u tO kNow... OG4--- oDin rAwKz... plaY bAck tHe gD tiMes pLeaSe...?
dAddY.. u R weLL rEstIng aT hOme oNcE aGaiN.. i hOpe u dO gEt weLL sOoN.. n i kNow u hAve bEen a LittLe reLIeVe of tHe paiN... hAng iN thErE =)
-=[^tiMe fLieS.. dAy aFter dAy... i seE u fAde aWay...^]=- ("v")jIngtiNg("v")

2004-04-22T07:23:00.000-07:00

-=miSeRabLe..? oR hapPy..?=-
mY dAddY... iS nOt gettIng bEttEr dAy bY dAy... i DunNo wAt mOrE i cAn dO.. i dUnnO wAt i cAn heLp.. i dUnnO wHy i'M sO uSeLeSs... i jUz pRay hArd tHat hE's aLriGht.. n hoPe hE's gOnNa bE fiNe...
dEspiTe tHe paiN n mIseRy i feeL toDay... mY darLinGs n I meT uP.. tHey gAve mE LotsA hAppiNess tOdAy.. i mEt aLL 4 oF tHem... zIxIan, LixIa, qiUyAn n FaeZah... n oSo mEt dearEst wEicHeNg.. bUt i wAs pUrE sOrrY tHat hE cOuLdn't jOin uS iN kBoX.. wEicheNg n Xuan fU, it'S noT tHat wE dU weLcOme u aLL... jUz tHat wE wiLL feeL wEirD iF u aLL jOin... sOrrY..~! bUt i wAs haPpY u dIDn't fOrgEt mE n caLLed mE tO meEt uP.. hmMm.. bUt LefT u aLL aLonE n i eNjOyed mYseLf iN kBox.. daRLinGs... We hAd LotsA fUn iN KboX tOdAy.. wE reaLLy did hAve fUn.. n wE wEnt reaL cRazY.. wHen wE sTartEd sinGinG 'SHE BANGS'... haHaHa...~! i LovE u aLL... LovE LovE n oNLy Love..~!! mUacKieS...~!! --("v") tInG-xIa-Yan-xIan-eZah-("v")-->
-=[^ i'M cOnfUsEd wiTh mY oWn LovEy dOvEy feeLinGs.. i'M serIousLy cOnfUse.. i dUnnO mY oWn feeLinGs aNymOrE.. pErhAps... i'M nUmb aLreAdy..? cRush oR LovE..? oR siMpLy nOthIng aT aLL..? i tNk i'M a STUPID-IDIOTIC-BITCHY-FLIRT....~! i cAnnOt uNdeRstaNd mY oWn feeLinGs aNymOre.. i cAnnOt feeL tHe hEart feLt feeLinGs fRom mY heArt... i'M a faiLuRe... i hOpe sOmeoNe cAn bE heRe fOr mE.. yEt... i wAn tO bE aLonE.. cOntRadIctOrY..~!!^]=- ("v")jInGtiNg("v")

2004-04-21T08:08:00.000-07:00

-=pAiN=-
i hoPe u gEt fiNe day bY dAy.. cOs i dUn wAnnA LosE u.. i kNow u aRe iN paiN.. i Know u R sUfferiNg.. wE dUn waNNa gIve uP oN yOu.. nO mattEr hoW haRd.. hOw tOugh tHis bAttLe iS gOnnA bE... wE wiLL puLL tHrouGh wiTh U tOgeThEr... n wE shaLL...
dArLinGs... LovE aLL oF yOu.. aLwaYz tHerE tO cHeeR mY dAy.. n tO bRigHteN mY LifE... u aLL siMpLy rOcKz... LovE tO sPenD tHe tiMe wiTh u aLL.. n eVerY sinGle mInUtE iS pReciOus wHen wE aRe tOgeThEr...
aNdRew.. u dUn hAf tO kEeP mSgiNg mE tO tRy n tUrn tHinGs bAck.. cOs nOthIng cAn bE cHangEd.. eVer siNce tHe dAy u gOt mE oUt oF tHe picTuRe n bRouGht hEr iN.. wE wEre tHrOuGh.. i dUn dEny tO sAy tHat i feeL nUmb aLreAdY.. n nOthIng u sAy iS gOnnA mAke a dIfferEncE... u wEre hEartLesS.. u mAdE mE feeL eVeryThiNg iS wOrThLesS.. hOwevEr tOuchiNg uR wOrDs mAy bE... iT's nEver eVeR gOnnA mAke a cHangE iN waT wE aRe nOw.. fReNz.. n PuReLy fReNz... tRue LurVe cOmeS fRom tHe bOttOm oF tHe hEarT... ("v")jIngtinG("v")

2004-04-20T07:43:00.000-07:00

-=tiMe tO LeT gO aS tiMe seEms tO pRovE=-
tOdAy... hmMm... nOthiNg mUcH.. reaLLy nOthIng mUch.. mOst haPpY thIng iS CLA LiT tEachEr cHangE bAck tO LiN LAo sHi aLrEadY.. sO gReaT..~! mEt yUan zHen (a.Ka. LaOgAo) aT Lot 1.. oH yaHz..~! hE wAs tHe gUy i mEntiOned iN mY bLog earLiEr oN... tHe caiLinG's fRenZ dEaR bOyS aCt two.. bAck tHen, din kNow hiS nAme.. nOw kNow LiAo.. haHaha... n oKiE lAhz.. a niCe peRsoN.. gUai gUai... oSo LikE tO rOt iN Lot1 jUz LikE mE n My daRLinGs.. we'vE bEeN a bIt cLoser tHrU sMs n mSn.. hAhA.. =X meT uP wiTh zIxiAn aFtEr LaogAo wEnt hOme tO piG.. hmMm... den cOincIdentaLLy mEt kELLy.. n wE weNt fOr diNner tOgeThEr.. hmM... dEn mEt mY LaoPo qIuyAn.. sHe wAs wiTh jEnnY.. tHey acTuaLLy wAntEd tO waTch mOvIe.. bUt mEt uS, dEn sTarTed cRappiNg.. tOkiNg.. dEn tHey dEcidEd nOt 2 wAtcH le... dEn wE tOOk mAnY nIcey nIcEy nEo cArdS.. =P vErY nIcE wOr..~!hmMm.. dEn aBouT 7 pLuS gOinG hOmE.. gOt a ziXiaN fReN, WeicHeNg's fRen... dOinG sOme sUrvEy thIngY... nope.. a mEmbErshiP tHinGy.. tO jOin tHe zOdiaC wOmeN's nEtworK.. xiAn, mE, jEnnY n yAn joinEd.. hmMm.. n guess waT..? tHat sUrvEyor (qIanrU) saY i LooK LikE fOreIgnEr.. sAy i dUn LooK s'PorEan.. heEheE.. n sAy i LooK LikE miXeD bLood... hAhA.. tHis isN't tHe 1St tiMe.. pErhapS i dO LooK nOn-s'poreAn.. hahaha... =X
-=[^tiMe hAd pRovE tO mE tHat sLowLy, eVerythiNg iS fAdiNg... i oSo sTarT tO dOubT mY feeLinGs... i oSo duNno hOw i feEL... iT's tOrmEntiNg mE eMotiOnaLLy... izziT tiMe tO gIvE uP n wAve tHe whiTe fLag..?^]=-
("v")jIngtInG("v")

2004-04-19T08:39:00.000-07:00

-=sIcK=-
tOdAy, feLt reaLLy sIcK n sIgnEd outtA sChooL earLy... in tHe mOrnIng, i wAs stiLL feeLinG okIe... bUt oSo dUnnO y tHe sUddEn sIcKneSs... waiTed fOr sAthIya fRom 6.45aM tO 7.15aM.. he WokE uP LaTe, n jEgAn n I hAd tO waiT sOoo LonG fOr hiM.. hahA.. hOpE tmL hE wOn't dO iT... iN scH, beFore aSsembLy, fOunD ouT hUisHi fOrgOt hEr tiE.. heY, it'S gOnnA bE seriOus, cOs sArS is gOinG tO kiLL hEr iF shE's w/o a tiE.. i offEred miNe tO heR.. weLL, it's reaLLy okiE, cOs i tnK it's wOrsE fOr hEr... n guesS wat...? mR. nIcE oFferEd mE HiS tiE.. hEy.. he'S daMn nIce.. oSo dunnO y hE mUz bE sO niCe tO pPL.. haRdLy fInd tHis tYpe oF pPL Le... aNywAy, i dUn wAn hiM tO gEt it fRom mR. 'mOnEycOme'... sO, i rejectEd hIs kiNd oFfEr... tHen wEnt fOr CLA cLaSs, aLmosT feLL aSLEep... coS sTarT tO feeL siCk le.. weLL, i signEd oUt dUriNg frEe peRioD b4 geog LecT... cAme hOme tO sLp.. n sLp.. n sLp... tt'S aBouT eVerythiNg tOdAy... heEheE... =P
-=[^i cAnnot uNdErsTand uR feeLings... neitHeR dO yOu uNdeRstanD miNe.. waT iS wRonG..? pErhAps, i'M askinG toO mUcH... weLL, uR hEaRt beLonGs tO hEr... tiMe shaLL teLL mE eVerythiNg... iF onLy i kNow tHe waY tO R hEaRt.. iF onLy i cOuLd KnoW uR tHougHts... if onLy....^]=- (.")(",)
("v")jIngtIng("v")

2004-04-17T07:36:00.000-07:00

-=LifE's vuLnerAbLe=-
nOthiNg iS inTerestiNg iN LifE tHus hAveN beEn bLoggiNg... i'M scAred.. i'M reaLLy sCarEd.. i dUn waNna LosE mY dEareSt n cLosEst Kin... i dUn wAn.. bUt sitUatiOn iS gOinG fRom bAd tO wOrse... i miGht nOt taKe iT anymOrE.. cOs i'M seeiNg mY cLoseSt kIn iN pAin...~! i kNow iT's reaLLy paiNfuL.. aLL i cAn... iS tO bE tHerE... tO eNcOurAge.. tO accOmpanY... i dUn waNNa LosE in thiS battLe... i dUn waNNa.. i waN tO puLL thRu... i wAn tO wiN thIs wAr n hOpe eVerythiNg is weLL... Life's vuLneRabLe... LifE's uNprediCtabLe... ='(
-= i gUess i mAy nEver bE abLe tO Let u uNdeRstAnD mY feeLiNgs.. i caNNot cOncEntrAte oN thIs aNymOre.. i'M LosiNg oUt.. i'M gOinG dOwn.. i'M LosiNg mY saniTy... i sHall lEavE iT aLL tO faTe... iF onLy u cOuLd hEar mY hEaRt feLt feeLinGs... n iF onLy u wiLl feeL tHe sAme...=- ("v")jiNgtiNg("v")

2004-04-13T08:41:00.000-07:00

-=LosIng=-
nOthIng cOuLd bE mOrE dReadfuL... i'M oN tHe vErgE oF LosiNg mY dEareSt pErsOn iN lIfe... n i reaLLy mEanT LOSING... iT wAs cRitIcaL... stiLL cRitIcaL... i pRay hArd fOr hIs sUrvIvaL... n i mUz nOt LosE hIm.. i shaLL puLL tHru tHis battLe... tHanK yOu mY darLinGs fAezaH n zIxIan fOr beIng tHere FoR mE.. tHanK yOu hUi sHi, iZzati, sAthIya n jEgAn.. u gUys gAve mE tHe woRLd's gReatEst eNcOurageMenT... reaLLy tHanKz a ziLLiOn...~! i'LL nOt fOrgEt tHis..
-= u saId tHe wOrLd's mOst paiNfUL wOrdS tOdaY... bUt iT waSn'T uR fauLT cOs.. u dUn eVen nOe tHe fAct tHat i LovE u dEarLy... hOweVer.. i tNk i sHouLd lEt gO...? cOs u sAiD n cOnfeSsed u LiKe hEr.. weLL.. i kNew i wOuLdn't sTanD a cHanCe...=-
MOsT pAinFuL dAy eVer...~!!! ("v")jIngTinG("v")

2004-04-12T06:43:00.000-07:00

-=sUnshIne LUrvE=-
hmMm... dIn bLog fOr 2 dAys.. sAt n sUn... cOs mY cOm LaG.. keKez... =X weLL, i mUz sAy i hAd 3 cOnsEcutIve wOndErfUL dAys.. tOdAy, sAtuRdaY.. n sUndAy... sAtuRdaY, i hAd mY bbQ.. weLL. wAs fUn.. wAs excItIng.. bUt aT tHe sAme tIme.. dIsappOintiNg.. cOs mAnY dIn tUrn uP.. n iT wAs raInIng.. wE hAd tO hOLd tHe uMbreLLa aBovE tHe pit tO dO oUr bArbEquE.. haHa... =X pLayEd wiTh LigHtstIcKs n sParkLeRs iN tHe nIgHt.. i reaLLY Love iT... mY CO fRenz wEre wOndErfuL... wE sAng n sAng... tiLL wE tHoUght oF cOnvErtIng Our CCA tO cHoiR.. haAhAhA... =P deN wE wEnt hOme Late aT nIgHt aFtEr tHe bbQ... wHen i rEacH hOme.. i wAs hAlf dEad okIe.. reaLLy tIrEd n sHaggEd... sLepT LikE a LOg.. n wOke uP LatE On sUndAy mOrnIng...
sUndAy... wOke uP reAl LatE.. aBouT 11aM.. dEn LasT mInuTe dEciDe tO gO swIm wIth dArLing fAezaH... n tHat Loh Wc dIsrUptEd oUr dAte.. aRgh..~! hAhA.. bUt iT wAs fUn swImmIng wIth hIm aS weLL... wAs fUn tHouGh.. n sAw XiAofEn iN tHe poOL... sO cOincIdEnt... aFtEr tHe swIm, wE wEnt tO Ljs (loT 1) tO eAt oUr LunCh... aFtEr ThaT, daRLinG n I mAde aNoTher Last mInUtE decIsiOn oF tHe dAy.. tO cUt oUr haIr...~! sO.. wE weNt tO cUt tOgeThEr... hmMm.. mY nEw hAir styLe.. isn'T mUch dIfferEncE.. sO.. nO bIg dEaL... bUt darLinG Lokk reaLLy nIcE..~! weLl.. fOr sUndAy... tt's bAsicaLLy aLL... =X
tOdaY... hAppY hapPy day..~!!! tHouGh reaLLY vEry tIrEd.. bUt stiLL hAd LotsA fUn.. eArLy mOrnIng, i reALisEd i fOrgOt tO bRing mY PE shIrT fOr mAss pE.. gOt vEry wOrrIed.. mY mR.nIce, jEgAn... oFfereD tO lEnd mE hIs.. weLL, hE skiPPed hIs oWn PE LessOn tO lEnD mE hIs sHiRt.. hOw nIcE..~! dEn.. HaD a Long Long dAy wIth LessOnS... n mAss PE... eNdEd eVerytHing aT 5pM.. dEn, sAthIyA (bUs sToP), SpiKy( sHuanIe), jUnxIaNg & jEgAn accOmpAny mE tO bUy mY cOntacT lEnsE aT tEck wHye mArkEt.. fRoM tHeRe, wE wEnt tO Lot 1 cOs sHaUnIe n bUs sTop nEed tO bUy Lit nOteBk aT pOpuLAr... aFtEr thaT, sHauNie wEnt hOme 1sT.. n tHe rEst Of uS wEnt fOr dInnEr... wELL... dInnEr wAs gReaT.. tHen wEnt hOme LiaO.. n nOw, aT hOme bLoggIng n cHattIng... heHe... =P gOnnA dO sOme tUtorIaLs n rEvisIon LatEr.. sIanzAtiOn..~! haizZ... -_-o
-= i reaLisEd u R reaLLy Gd.. bUt izzIt oNLy tO mE..? oR tO eVeryOne eLse..? i dUnnO... pErhAps.. tIme wiLL pRovE eVerythIng...=-
("v")jInGtiNg("v")

2004-04-09T09:26:00.000-07:00

-=LeAf's dEpaRtuRe=-
oOps... iF i bLog nOw.. iT's gonnA bE daTed aS 10tH aPriL.. wHen i'M actUaLLy bLoggIng fOr 9tH aPriL.. weLL, iT's 9th aPriL.. tHe mOst wOndErfuL dAy i eVer hAd fOr tHe pAst fEw weeKs bAck.. eaRly iN thE mOrnIng, i mEt uP with cHai mEi, jIng mIn, wEnyIng, kAngtAi aNd jAceLyn... wE wEnt tO IMM tO shOp fOr fOOds n sTuffs fOr tMl.. (oR tOday's..?) bbQ... kAngtaI wAs dAmn bLur LohZ... aSk hIm tO meeT 11am aT jUroNg eAst pOpuLar ENTRANCE... hE wEnt tO waiT aT tHe EXIT... tHen wEnt oN tO IMM bY hIMseLF.. oh nO.. wE waiTeD n waiTed oKie... n tHen hE gOt nO hP...~! aRgh.. tHank gOd hE mAnaGe tO sQueeZe jAceLyn's nUmbEr oUttA hIs mInd... wE mEt uP evEntUaLLy... hMM.. hAd a nIce tIme sHooPinG fOr tHingS... tHey cAme tO mY hOuse fOr LuNcH... hAd a rEaL fUn tIme cOs hAndS oN eXpeRienCe oN tHe cHicKen wIngS.. hAhA... tHey r cUmiNg eArLy mOrnIng tOdAy...
tHen cAme tHe bEst OG gAthEriNg wE hAd... wEnt mAtt's hOuse fOr sTeambOAt... nObOdY wiLL bEliEve hOw muCh fUn wE hAd..~! mEt 5pM aT lAkesIdE buT reAch mAtt's hOuse aT 6pM.. kEkeZ... pReParEd fOr tHe sTeambOat n aT tHe sAme tIme waTched tHe RePlayEd oF mTv aSia aWards.. hmMm... mE n jUnjIe mAde a sPeciAl dRink fOr eVeryOnE... cOcktaiL + iCe cReaM sOdA + sParKlIng gRapE jUicE + sUnkIst sYrUp.. haHa... hE's sO sCarEd wE mAy bE sColdEd iF nOt nIce.. keKez.. sO cuTe.. tHen gOt hAndS oN mAkinG dUmpLinGs wiTh lEit n hUi sHi.. wE dId a gD jOb oKie... hEhE... =P sLacKeD aT maTt's rOom b4 dinNer cOmmEncEs.. hAha.. n gUess wAt..? wEn kAi sPoILed stEvE's gUiTaR.. dEn mE, maTt, jUn jIe n wEnkAi gOtta TRY n FIX tHe tHing bAck.. hAHa.. i dIn dO mUcH.. bUt i sAw tHe wHole tHing hAppeNiNg wHilE feeQy, jX, rAy n hUi sHi wEre tOkiNg bOut nIppLes n aLL LahZ.. wAhAhA.... =P
aLriGht, dInnEr iS rEadY... wE sAt dOwn LikE a ONE big FamiLy...ooPs, cRaps n Lame jOkes aLL aRd.. n Oh nO, i KnocKed dOwn mY dRink oNto mYseLf, JunjIe n tHE fLoor... tRusT me, i wAs reaLLy tRaumAtiSed tHen.. gOtta cHangEd iNto mAtt's ovErsizEd t-sHiRt.. bUt iT's reaLLY nIcE.. cOs iT's yeLLoW... heEheE... wEnt dOwn fOr dInnEr aGaIn.. hmMm... wEre sIttIng bEtweeN wEn kAi n jUnjIe wHo wEre PractIcAlly bIcKerIng tHrOughOut tHe dInnEr... bUt cRappiNg lAhz... nOt LikE reAl oNe.. heE.. i wAs tHe 1sT tO stOp eAtiNg.. cOs hAd a rEal hEavY lUncH.. sAt n sLacKed oN tHe cOucH wIth jJ n mElvIn.. tOk LohZ.. cRap loHz.. n sUddEnLy, i tNk i fInaLLY cAn cLick wIth mEL... LatEr oN, eVeryOne sTartEd tO jOin iN aS weLL... tHen wE pLayeD caRds... dAi dI, n bLuffiNg... dUrIng bLuffIng, wEnkai Like lose aLL thE gaMes... tHen lAter he pUrPoseLy oPen tHe cArds wHen hE sEriOusLy kNoew iT's nOt a bLuff..~! hUi sHi asKeD hIm y..? "coLLectIon"... haHaHa....~! fUnny sIa... =X
tRuth oR dAre...~! reaLLy gOtta kNow mOre aBout tHem... tHe dAres wEre sUpEr dUpER fUnny...~! reaL jOkE... haHaHa... =P tHeN dUnnO y LikE rEacHinG mId nIgHt aLreAdy, mAtt sTarteD tOkiNg bOUt gHosTs sToriEs.. hEy ppL... tHose wHo kNow mE weLL, kNowS tHat i'M sUpEr sEnsiTive tO tHIs...~! tHen gOt reaLLy sCared LohZ... sCreAmeD... hAiz.. paRdOn mE..
oOi... dUn miSs oUt tHis mAn...~! sHanKie'S phOne rAng... hE sTood tO pIcK uP tHe caLL... fEeqY pUllED hIs paNts dOwn..~! haha... gOt sHorTs... bUt tHen...~!!!! hE puLLed hIs sHoRts dOwn aS weLL.. OMG...~! i tUrneD aWay, i tOt i sAw... bUt hE dEniEd tt hE dOes nOt hAf uNdeRweAr... weLL, feeQy oSo sAy hAve weAr LaHz.. sO.. i dUn wAnnA tNk mOre.. hahahaha... TheY r sOOOO fUnkY...~! weLL. wE lEft mAtt's hOuse aT 11.55pM.. cLose tO mId nIghT liAo... b4 gOing hOme, hUisHi n I wEre LikE wHinIng tHat We reaLLy sCareD cOs Of tHe sTupId gHosT sTorIes.. haiZ... bUt wE stiLL gOttA gO hOme aLOne aFter aLl.. tHe bAd tHing iS.. bUs sToP mIss aLL tHe fUn tOdAy.. iF hE wEre tHeRe, iT'd bE mOre MorE mOre fUnny..~! fEeqY sEnt mE a Msg:" i tRust u gOt hOme sAfeLy... SWEET drEaMs... =)" sEe, aLL oDin ppL aRe sO kInd n fUnkY.. i sImpLy LOVE tHem aLL... aLL...~! trUe Love OdIn...
[dIn gEt uR mSg tOdaY.. dIn msG u tOdAy.. hOpE u aRe oSo eNjOyiNg uRseLf... reaLLY dO mIss U...] darLinGs, i Love u aLL tOo... tT hP cHain rOcKz... i LovE it, n iT sHaLL bE oUr LovE tOkEn tO eAch oThER.. =X mUacKzZz... n hUggiEs tO aLL mY daRlinGs... n tO aLL oDin ppL...~!!
("v")jIngTinG("v")

2004-04-08T08:29:00.000-07:00

-=LeaF's dEparTure=-
i'M rEaL haPPy tOdAy... iN sChooL hAd PE.. aRgh..~! rAn 2.4KM.. sO tIrIng n feLt LikE dYinG... LeGs wObbLy.. hAhA... =X i cAn sOmehOw cLicK wiTh jIngYi n wEndY aLreAdy.. sO gD.. aT LeaSt cAn nOe tHem bEttEr n pErhAps bE cLosEr tO tHem..? sPeNt quIte aLot oF tiMe wIth wEndY tOdAy, fOunD tHat sHe's aCtuaLLy a vEry sWeeT gAL... weNt oUt wIth mY daRlinGs tOdAy As uSuAl... bUt.. a Long oNe tOdAy... n oso mEt daRlinG wEicHeNg.. ooPs.. =X aSk hIm tO taKe nEopRinT wiTh mE dEn tHe sHop cLose LiaO.. sO sAd.. bUt hE sAid nExt tIme sUre cAn taKe tOgEthEr.. nO sCareD nO cHanCe.. kEkEz... n xUan fU (aKa bEnbEn), i reaLLy piTy u... i kNow u LovE hEr n tReaSurE hEr.. hOld oN to iT untiL u reaLLy cAnnOt taKe iT anyMorE.. i'M aLwaYs heRe fOr u.. u kNow tHat... =)
iF oNly i cOulD teLL u mY feeLingS tO u, iF onLy u feeL tHe sAme wAY aS i dO... i reaLLy dUnnO wAt u r tHinKinG.. reaLLy dUnnO y U r sO nIce.. pErhaPs tO eVeryOne..? i KnoW u wEre tOucHed bY hEr.. bUt y dEnY iT..? weLL, pErhapS nAtUre wiLL taKe iTs cOurSe.. peRhapS fAte sHaLL dEciDe oUr dEstIny... i sHaLL bE cOnteNteD wIth wAt wE aRe nOw.. pErhAps it'S mOre tHan eNouGh..?
tMr iS gOnnA bE a tIrIng dAy... cOs gOttA bE reAl bUsY... hOpE wiLL eNjOy tHro tHe fUn.. LookIng fOrWard tO tHe sTeambOat.. =) ("v")jInGtiNg("v")

2004-04-07T07:28:00.000-07:00

-=LeAf's dEparTurE=-
7th aPriL... nOthiNg haPPenEd... nOthiNg sPeciAl... tHe onLy speCiaL tHinG.. iS... i aTe dinnEr iN zIxIan hoUsE, wEnt paSar maLam wiTh hEr... pLayed tHe guItaR... hmMm... tT's aLL tt iS sPeciaL tOdAy.. schOoL wAs aS bOriNg aS eVeR... oH yaHz...~! i bOycotT jUnxIanG... haHaA... CO wAs fOR sLackInG.. nO pRactIcE aT aLL.. tOk n tOk wIth jAc N kAng tAi wHoLe afTernOOn... nOt mUch oF aN issUe tO briNg uP tHouGh... i hAte tHis dAy...~! cOs.. i feeL tHaT tHerE's reaLLy nOthIng woRth tO bE haPPy aBouT... 7tH aPriL.... iT's 7tH aPriL... 7TH APRIL....!!! a dAy.. tHat rEminDs mE oF tHe mOst wOrtHLesS n hEarTleSs pErsOn tHat eVer wEnt acrOsS mY liFe... i'M gOnnA sLeeP nOw.. n hOpe tHat tML cOmeS aSaP... gD nIteZ...~! ("v")jIngTinG("v")

2004-04-06T06:08:00.000-07:00

-=LeaF's dEpaRtuRe=-
hmMm... tOdaY... actUaLLy nOthiNg mUcH lEhz... cOs iN sCh dIdn'T hAf aNythiNg hAppenInG... oNly afTer sCh... Went tO wEst maLL wiTh jEgaN tO meeT zIxIaN... dEn tOk tOk, waLk waLk, sHop sHoP, sLacK aRouNd... =X qUiTe fUnnY cOs wE tOk aBouT tHe viLLagE bOy... hAhAha.... =P tHen hE wEnt hOme 1St... LixIa cAme tO meeT mE... wIth caILinG n hEr fRieNd.. aRgh..~! cOmplicatEd... hMMm.... LidAt lOhz.. nOthiNg mUch tOdaY... pErhapS i'LL hAf mOre tO wRitE tMr... =) ("v")jInGtiNg("v")

2004-04-05T07:20:00.000-07:00

-=-LeAf's dEparTurE-=-
tOdAy... hAd a rEallY rEaLLy LonG dAy iN sChooL.. hAhAhA... bUt hAd a grEat tIme tHouGh... bUt tHen eaRly iN tHe mOrnIng wAs dAmn piSseD oFf bY jUnxIanG lOhZ... sCoLdEd mE assHoLe fOr nOthIng.. arGh...~!!! wAs reaLLy aNgrY wiTh hIm.. n inItiaLLy deCidEd tHat i sHaLL nOt tOk tO hIm fOr tHe rEst oF tHe dAy.. bUt hE apOlOgiSed.. sO i decidEd tO fOrgiVe hIm afTer aLL... jEgaN iS reaLLy a nIce gUy.. gOt tO kNow hIm rEcentLy tHru sAthIyA (a.k.a bUs sToP) 2 weeKs aGo... eRm.. fOund hIm reaLLy nIce.. mY cOmpAnIoN tO gO tO sCh eVery mOrnIng, wiTh sAthIya... hE acTuaLLy waIteD fOr mE aFtEr sChooL wHen hE fIniShed hIs cLass eArliEr.. i nAme hIm Mr. nIce nOw.. hAhA...=X aFtEr sChooL, waS iN sChooL tO stUdy wiTh mY uSuaL cLiCk... dId sUcceSsfuLLy fIniSh sOme assIgnmEnts.. n feLt reaLLY haPPy... =P aftEr tHat, mE, saThiYa, jEgAn, sHankY, jUnxiAng wEnt fOr dinnEr at LjS (loT 1)... oVer tHeRe wE mEt mY daRliNg lAo pO (zIxIan)... hAhA... =X tHeY oSo cLicK wiTh hEr vEry weLL... sO gD...~! kEkEz... wHen tHey Left, mE n LAo pO nO.2 mEt uP wiTh lAo po nO.1 (LixIa)... hAd a reaL hEarTy tOk tOgeTheR aT oUr 'Lao dI fAng'... sPenT tHe tIme tO sLack ovEr tHeRe... dEcidEd tO gO hOmE aT 8.30pM... Lao pO zIxIan wEnt hOme bY lRt .. LixIa n I tOok 985 tOgeTheR aS usUal... bUt tHen swEety pIe dArLing waLkeD hOme wIth mE tHen WeNt hOme bY hErsElF.. sO nIce n swEet of Her... weLL, i reaLLy dO appReciaTe eVerY sinGle oNe of mY daRlinGs.. n i dO Love thEm LotzZz n LotzZz... i stArt tO tNk iF i'M a LeS tHouGh.. =X tHe paIn n dReadfUl mOOd yEstErdaY wAs wAshED aWay bY aLL tHe hAppiNesS n jOy sHowEreD oN mE bY aLL tHeSe pPL... hAhA.. reaLLy tReaSure eVeryOne sIngLe oNe oF thEm wiTh gReat LovE... dArLinGs, u rOcK..~! oDiN... u siMpLy rOcK mY wOrLd...~! tRuE lOve cOmeS fRom tHe bOttOm oF tHe hEaRt... ("v")jIngTinG("v")

2004-04-04T07:54:00.000-07:00

-=-leAf's dePartUre-=-
aGony... pAin... tOdAy i sLacKed aT hOme tHe eNtiRe daY.. sLp n eAt wAs waT i dId... haizZz... i'M reaLLy iN pAin.. reaLLy rEally feeLing tHe PincH iN mY hEarT... cOs i sEe mY fRenZ sUffEr iN rELatiOnshIps.. yEt kNowIng nOthIng tt i cAn hElp tHem fRom... i havE tHe sTrOng feeLing tO cUt mY hAir tO sPiKy sHoRt.. i ReaLLy dO feeL lIke iT.. bUt tHe eNtIre wOrLd iS StoPpIng Me tO dO sO... wEi cHeng sAiD hE's gOnnA igNore mE iF i dO sO... n aNoThEr HE saId tt hE's gOnna dIe iF i rEally dEcidEs tO bEcoMe a LeS... y sHOuLD hE caRe..? hE dItchEd mE.. Left mE... wEnt wiTh hEr.. hE's aLwaYz sAyiNg thIngs tO maKe mE feeL thaT hE stiLL LOvEs mE.. bUt iF hE doEs, y dUmpEd mE fOr hEr..? hE sAid hE stiLL caREs.. n hE saId hE waNts mE tO siNg fOr hIm aGaiN... bUt dO i stiLL haVe tHe rIghT..? hE saId sHe's nOt tHe oNe fOr hIm.. nOt tHe rIghT oNe.. bUt hE tOld tHe eNtiRe wOrLd tHat hE wanTs heR.. n wHen hIs mUm aSked OncE aGaIn... hE cHosE hEr... i'Ve deCidEd tO faLL oUt Of hIm.. n gEt a nEw LifE.. iT's bEen Long sIncE wE bRoke uP.. He hAs hIs Life, i hAve mY LiFe... bUt y dO i stiLL dRop tEars oF pAin wHenEver hE's iN pAin..? he's sIcK, sHe's nOt tHeRe... hE nEeDs tO fuLfiLL hIs dReaMz, yEt cOme tO mE aSk mE tO bE hIs DreAm fUlfiLLeR.. i reaLLy dUn UndErstAnd y... Y...? n hE seeMs tO kNow EverY sinGle acTioNs oF mY dAy... i'M pUzzLed n cOnfUsEd.. i tRied tO tEll Him hOw i feLt.. hE Juz saId i'M a siLLy gAL.. i tRied IgnOrIng hIm, n hE fElt tHe pAin... cAn aNyoNe juz tEach mE a wAy tO gEt oUt oF tHis aGony..? hUi sHi iS In pAin cOs sHe cAnnot eXprEss hEr feeLInGs tO hEr LovE oNe... i'M iN pAin cOs mY lOVe lIfe's In a gReat mEss... greAt mEss.. i Was tHe LeaF.. i LefT cOs oF wInd's pUrsuIt... bUt nOw.. i'M sEriuosLy ponDerIng.. iF iT wAs bEcaUse tHe treE dIdn'T aSk mE tO stAy... bUt if hE did... Is hE wiLLiNg tO sAcrIfiCe aNotHer LeaF, fOr tHe saKe oF me..? ("v")jIngtinG("v")

2004-04-03T07:24:00.000-08:00

-=-[leAf's departUre]-=-
tOday... dIdn'T gO tO sEntOsA aS PlannEd... dIdn"t wEnt accOrdiNg tO oUr pLan... iNitiALLy wAnteD tO gO piGIng n sHoppIng wIth hUi sHi.. bUt oSo dIdn'T.. weNt tO hAf LunCh wiTh mAtt, hUi shI, izzAti aNd LeiT cHi... OG ouTing..? nOpe.. peRhaps jUz sOme gaTherIng aMong fEw oF us... dEn wEnt tO maTt's hOusE n spEnt tHe wHole aFternOOn pLayIng mOnOpoLy... wAs fUn inDeed.. n afTer tHat, mEt uP wiTh mY daRlinG n laO pO.. nOt fOrgettIng aH lOh.. wEnt tO haVe dInnEr togetHer aT mAc lOt 1... hAd a Lot Of fUn tAkiNg pIcs n i aLwaYs feeL haPPy wIth mY daRlinG (fAezaH) n mY lAo PO (ziXiaN)... Lao pO nO.1 (lIxIa), dIdn'T jOin uS, wAs a bIt nOt oNe piEcE.. fElt wE sOmehOw Left hEr oUt... bUt i dO lOve hER..~! wEnt hOme.. aNd sTart sLacKIng iN fRont oF tHe cOm.. tMl gOnna sTarT sTudYinG n mUggInG aT hOme.. hEhE... tT's aLL fOr tOdAy.. ("v")jIngtinG("v")